November 16, 2013
by Laura
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You Christians, I Swear…

If you want a quick and dirty way to tell if someone is a Christian, step on their toe. If they say: “Oh, Fiddlesticks! Be more careful!” they probably attend church on regular basis. If they say: “Shit! That hurt, you asshole!” then they are probably a hell-bound heathen. flanders

But in all honesty, many Christians are caricatured like Ned Flanders, Homer’s nosy, uber-Christian neighbor from The Simpsons. They will go to any lengths to avoid saying a naughty word, even though the emotions and pain they feel are the same as someone who strings more swear words together than a South Park episode. Many of my Christian friends have even come up with their own replacement cuss words. For example, one friends might say “She is such a B.” . My boyfriend can’t even say “titmouse” without blushing. And a titmouse is a bird!

Unfortunately, I cannot live up to that standard. Even though I am a Christian, I swear a lot more than I should.  My friends often ask me why I resort to those naughty words when I have such an extensive vocabulary. So when I stub my toe, I should just exercise my creativity and come up with an alternative word, right?

Hell no! Why is that? Because it just feels so much better to let out a big and resounding:

barrymore

Drew Barrymore, in a dramatic moment in one of my favorite movies, Donnie Darko

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October 23, 2013
by Laura
1 Comment

Facing The Epic Fail

Halloween is just around the corner, so I thought I would  write about something super scary. Something that strikes fear in the hearts of men, a creature in the night that already has you in it’s death grip before you even know it…

No, it’s not MJ rising from the dead to resurrect Thriller (God rest his soul)….….but though you fight to stay alive, your body starts to shiver, for no mere mortal can resist, the evil that is:

fail

Shame cat…is ashamed…

voldemort

Failure….don’t speak of it!

That’s right, I said it. Need a new pair of pants? You will after this post :). And I am pretty sure you wet yourself from laughter…because who doesn’t think a cat with cheese on its head is funny?

All kidding aside, failure threatens us  because it is real and inevitable. You can watch a horror movie and get a few startles when a zombie pops out from behind a corner, but you know zombies aren’t really real. Yet for failure…it’s not a question of if, but a matter of when…because it will happen to you. People don’t want to speak about their epic fails, like they’re some sort of personal Voldemort, which makes your personal failures appear that much more terrifying.

For most of us, some of the most frightening things we ever have to do is step out in faith and do something we fail at. At some point, we will be called to make that step.

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October 3, 2013
by Laura
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Help! My Progress Bar is Halted!

Day 3 of the U.S. Federal Government shutdown has ended with no resolution in sight. 800,000+ people out of work and wondering how they are going to pay bills is agonizing. However, the worst part of it is the indefinite-ness of it. How can you budget and plan when you don’t know whether you must wait 3 days or 30 days or 30 months? Some people are zen with ambiguity; however, it drives me insane.

But that is part of life. We’re always having to “wait and see” on something. And as much as we try to find resolution or make progress, often times just seems like nothing is happeneing.  It can be waiting for that career break, trying to save for a house, striving to become more patient and less angry, losing weight, etc…. It’s easy to believe God has given up, but that is often an illusion.

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September 12, 2013
by Laura
5 Comments

Resistance is Futile – My Identity in Christ

Many have written and preached about identity, but what exactly is it? According to 2 Corinthians 5:17, if anyone is in Christ, a new Creation has come; the old is gone, the new is here!

While this is indeed good news, to a person unfamiliar with or resistant to the faith, there is an undercurrent about it that is terrifying. Jesus says in Matthew 16:24: Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Me.

If you are a non-believer, perhaps a fallen world full of painful suffering and fickle people led you to believe you can only rely on yourself.  Perhaps you went to church in the past…maybe even “got saved” and followed all the “rules.” Yet you were deeply hurt by people associated with the church, or were simply hurt so unjustly that you wondered how could these Christians could be all happy and joyous all the time, as if God clearly did favor them and you were left to the dogs. But cheer up…even the dogs get the crumbs! (Yes, I am totally serious…see Matt. 15:27).

And let’s not forget the negative representations of Christians in mainstream media…some distorted collage of Westboro Baptist Church, priests molesting little boys, and backwoods tea-partiers. Why associate yourself with these people?

How I saw good Christian girls...

How I saw good Christian girls…

To kick off this blog…what better place to tackle this issue then revealing my own journey. I can tell you with absolute honesty that I had these fears, and still do. Because I am a huge nerd and feminist, the thought of becoming a Christian was akin to assimilation with the Borg from Star Trek or some other type of hive consciousness. I would have no freedom, no thoughts of my own. I had a conception of a Christian woman as some sort of Stepford wife….always submissive and baked the perfect banana bread.

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